When I think about the past (for example), and when I look at the present, there are some constants, some things that are the same in different situations, over different periods of time.

So how do you assess the authenticity of a friendship or any relationship over time? What are the things that we can see that are “red flags” in everyday relationships, and possibly “red flags” in relationships in families or with co-workers or even at school? What are the key things that constantly appear that can warn us to be careful, to be careful, to be careful?

This article might help you in those areas, on the topic of finding safe people to be around, of finding people who are genuinely interested in a sincere friendship, a give and take relationship, a “both ways” friendship, one in which Both people work on the friendship or relationship rather than just being a negative “I take all, you give” type of relationship.

First listen and observe…

One of the first things to look for is to notice the “person” itself, look at it, listen to it, see it, hear it, watch it. Observe how they react to other people. For example, if there is a person who constantly insults someone or constantly puts people down, keep in mind that this is not “restrained” behavior. If a person constantly and consistently insults or puts someone down, chances are that person will do it to everyone, especially everyone. Think about it. If a person is pointing out to you that someone is ugly, sweaty, too short, too tall, or too fat, and they always do, chances are that same insult is talking about you behind your back. Did you ever expect that? Probably not.

The gossip…

In today’s world, there are many people who gossip about others and they do it as a hobby, as a hobby. These are usually people who have nothing better to do. They are bored with their own lives or angry about their own situation. So they use their time to gossip, put others down, put others down in front of any audience that will listen. And so, if you listen, you are his audience.

Don’t be the public!

Purpose, care, children. You see, the truth is that if you are someone’s audience, chances are that, at some point in the future or even in the present, you, the audience, will become the target, the one being talked about. That’s the truth.

Gossips don’t contain their gossip. Those who put others down will usually be doing the same to you and your friends. Just wait, give it time and you will see.

Beware of gossips!

That’s the first warning sign in a relationship, whether it’s at school, at work, at a community center, or even on vacation or anywhere else. The person who spends their time putting other people down is usually the same person who spends their time putting you down and insulting you as well.

So the lesson is learned, don’t be the gossipers’ audience. When possible avoid being the public. And if the gossip doesn’t realize that people don’t want to hear the criticism, then work hard for the gossip.

Never say sorry?

Quite possibly, the second red flag (a sign that you don’t want to spend a lot of time with a particular person) could be the person’s complete inability to apologize to someone when they’ve done something wrong. That’s how it is.

If someone has hurt you, whether physical, verbal, or emotional, and you’ve told the person that they hurt you or that what they did was wrong, and they refuse to sincerely apologize, you may want to make the decision. next parts of that relationship with a grain of salt.

And because? This is why. If a person has hurt you and does not apologize, that can only mean that he has no intention of not repeating the same offense, whatever it may be. If they try to “explain” the problem, or talk bad to you and still don’t apologize; they do not admit that they were wrong, so they are not sincere in wanting to value your friendship or your relationship.

Don’t be bait!

A person who has hurt you, either by accident or on purpose, and who has not apologized to you, knows that you are bait and will take just about anything from them. That is more or less how it is presented.

Do you really want someone like that around you for long periods of time?

Are you happy to learn that the person refuses to apologize, ever? (Maybe that’s not the first time they haven’t apologized. Maybe they’ve hurt you once or twice or even three times before and never apologized? Isn’t it obvious that they’re not valuing your friendship? Only you can answer that question . .

the fake apology

And now, we arrive at what is known as the “false apology”. The false apology is one in which the person tells you verbally that they are sorry, but in the same sentence or in the same letter, or in the same email, they “blame” you for something. Basically, they are blaming you for what they did to you. And that negates his apology and that makes his apology a bogus apology.

For example, the person says, “I’m sorry,” and then goes on to say, “But you, this and that, and you shouldn’t have done this or that” –and they connect that whatever it is–with the reason for their Sorry. Trix are for kids! That’s right, as the rabbit says, “tricks are for kids”, not adults! So when it comes to adults and when it comes to sincere apologies, let’s not beat around the bush with tricks and puns and mind games.

If you see any of these red flags in that supposed apology, that person hasn’t really apologized to you at all. What they’re saying to you is “Yes, I know you need me to apologize to you, so I’m verbally saying ‘I’m sorry’, however, I’m going to use this time, this time of apology (letter, email, etc.) to blame you for something

Do they blame you?

That’s not an apology!

Someone who is sincerely sorry, and someone who has no intention of hurting you in the same way again, will not blame you for something when they apologize. A sincere person will apologize PERIOD! That’s how it is. A sincere person who is sorry for what he did or what he said will sincerely tell you that he is sorry (in more than two words, he smiles), and will not say anything about blaming you for anything. And that’s the truth.

Once you hear the person apologize and at that very moment they are blaming you for something, that person is rescinding their apology, in other words they are offering a false apology.

Are you ready to have such a person around you for long periods of time? Are you ready to extend any energy or friendship to a person who will do something wrong and then try to blame you with their ‘apology’?

Most people…

Most people rarely do anything that requires an apology, so this article really focuses on the rare individual, who has it deeply embedded in their soul that they are never wrong, never wrong, and therefore never need to. apologize. Only a handful fit that bill. So, don’t let this article keep you from making friends, but just let it open your eyes to the small handful in this world who are there primarily to never apologize after they’ve done something wrong.

By keeping your eyes and ears open for those two red flags, you may be able to avoid becoming entangled in someone’s web that could deeply harm you in the future. After all, if a person doesn’t take responsibility for what he does and continually doesn’t take responsibility for what he does, that person really has no incentive to be nice in the future.

In short, luckily there are only a few people you’ll ever meet who will wave those two red flags and expect you to still be there for them, to be their audience or to be their “do it my way” friend. .

So go out, have fun, be cool and meet new friends. Enjoy life! Do the things you enjoy doing! Go to places you like to go. And above all, be with people you want to be with and who want to be with you!