When I work with new clients, I am always interested in why they chose to learn and use EFT. The answer is usually negative, “I am very sick”, “I am overweight”, “I procrastinated”, or “I do not have enough money in my life”, etc. As a result of this, I changed one of the questions on my client intake form to read ‘What are your expectations of EFT?’ This ensures that the client is focused on what they would like to achieve rather than what is wrong with their life. Sometimes it’s easier to pay attention to what we don’t want in our lives than what we do want. We focus on our lack of money, our poor health or chronic pain, or how unhealthy we feel after eating “comfort” food.

When we make the ultimate decision to focus on what we do want, powerful fears about making the necessary changes can arise. For example, “If I have money, I will have to be responsible”, or “If I return to health and vitality, I will be expected to return to work and/or take care of the family”, or “If I stop eating these cookies every night I will have to face what is missing in my life.”

I have experienced that one of the biggest responses to the possibility of change is ‘Who would I be without this _________________ [extra weight, lack of money, illness, pain, addiction, anger, hurt, etc]? This is a frightening consideration because it is exactly weight, illness, anger, etc. what can define us. It is what we have become: Our identity.

I was recently working with a client and we very successfully neutralized some horribly painful childhood memories, which had prevented her from believing in herself. She then considered, “I wonder who I am without these memories.” It was almost as if a part of her essence had been removed. I suggested that she might want to consider that thought with curiosity rather than fear, and we began applying EFT on all the things she might think, feel, and accomplish as a result of letting go of those debilitating memories.

Our subconscious mind wants to keep us safe and is very resistant to change. So, even if the possibility of change consciously feels exciting and new, the subconscious will probably do its best to keep us firmly rooted in where we are now, because it is now safe and familiar. There is a tradeoff for the subconscious holding on to the familiar. This is known as Secondary Benefit Syndrome. In other words, there is some benefit to staying where we are now, even if we consciously want to move on.

Fortunately, with EFT we have a tool that can override the stubborn subconscious, and I usually suggest to my clients that they tap on the karate chop point (KC) and repeat the following three times:

“Even though for some reason, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to let go of this _______________ [illness, weight, lack of money, anger, etc]there’s a bigger part of me that wants to accept itself.”

The purpose of this is to neutralize Secondary Benefit Syndrome. Once this is taken care of, we are ready to apply regular EFT on the problem at hand.

When we tap on our limiting beliefs, traumatic memories, and pain, we change our perspective, gently allowing our subconscious to consider the change. Once the subconscious realizes that there is nothing to be gained by clinging to the problem, it is open to change.

If there is a part of you that, for whatever reason, resists recovering from illness, losing weight, achieving financial freedom, etc., you may want to try the following EFT procedure. (Please note: I’ve used disease as the problem, but you can substitute any concerns you have.) First, tap the phrase “inversion” (above), and then tap the karate chop point on your other hand while saying the following:

“Even though I don’t know who I would be if I was healthy again, I want to accept myself anyway”
“Even though I’m scared to recover because of what they’re going to expect from me, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Although I will lose my identity if I am healthy again, I deserve to forgive myself for how I feel.”

Now tap on the following places as you say each of the phrases below:

o top of the head: I don’t know who it would be
o eyebrow: being sick has become my identity
o side of the eye: Everyone accepts me in this role
or under the eye: and if I recover, they will expect more from me
or under the nose: I will have to resume my responsibilities
o chin: and that’s too much for me right now
o collarbone: I feel threatened by the possibility of change
or under the arm: I’m afraid to change
o top of the head: I want to enjoy the freedom that holistic health offers me
o eyebrow: I want to commit to my healing
o side of the eye: I deserve to feel safe enough to recover
or under the eye: I don’t have to feel compelled to change
or under the nose: I choose to be curious about the possibility of change
o chin: and how exciting my life will be
o collarbone: I’m starting to get curious who I could be without this disease
or under the arm: I deserve to change now

After you have tapped this round, write down how you feel and any new thoughts that have come up, then tap again, changing the words if necessary. Remember, the phrases you use are simply a way of outwardly expressing how you feel. You don’t need to be creative, just say what’s on your mind.

We are capable of much, but our subconscious prevents us from moving forward. Fortunately, by applying EFT we can eliminate self-sabotage and not only restore our health, but move toward vitality and living the life we ​​deserve to live.