You really love your boyfriend with all your heart. You would do anything and everything for him. “So why did I do this” you ask? “How could I have done this to him? I can’t believe I cheated on my boyfriend,” you say to yourself as the reality of your actions begins to fully sink in. Somehow, one question keeps moving to the front of your mind, trampling all other thoughts like a frantic shopper desperate to beat the crowd on savings. “Should I tell him?”
It’s a sticky situation you’ve gotten yourself into. No doubt about that. On one hand, you feel compelled to be completely honest with your boyfriend. You feel that he deserves it and even has a right to know. After all, you would want to know if he had done the same to you. On the other hand, you can’t help but worry that he’ll be crushed by your infidelity, or worse, so upset by it that he doesn’t say a word as he simply turns and walks away, never to be heard from again.
What’s the worst that can happen if you DON’T tell him?
If your boyfriend still has no idea that you’ve been unfaithful, it can be quite tempting to hide any information that might give away your big secret. And why not? What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right? However, you should consider what keeping a secret of this magnitude can and will do to your boyfriend, yourself, and your relationship.
First, secrets don’t always manage to remain confidential as originally intended. What happens when your boyfriend finds out much later (and he probably will)? What do you think would be worse? The pain he feels when you are upfront and honest with him soon after the cheating happened? Or do you think he’ll take it better when he finds out from someone else or some other way, compounding the pain of finding out you cheated on him with the addition of betrayal and secrecy?
What if you never really find out? It is almost guaranteed that she will keep your relationship intact without the slightest hiccup. As far as he was concerned, nothing ever happened. Meanwhile, the memory that you did, in fact, cheat on your boyfriend continues to eat away at your conscience. Every time your boyfriend tells you how much he loves you, trusts you, and feels like he never has to worry about you, you are reminded of your infidelity. You relive that cheating moment every time you keep it a secret.
What’s the worst that can happen when you tell him?
Perhaps you have decided that you do not want to live your life with guilt. Or, maybe you realize that your boyfriend will probably find out that you cheated on him sooner or later. So what’s the worst that can happen if you tell him the honest truth right now?
The most obvious consequence, of course, is that he might be upset by your cheating behavior to the point of breaking up with you throughout the ordeal. To be perfectly honest, he would have every right to, because you broke one of the most important aspects of any healthy relationship; trust. The point is that you must accept responsibility for your actions and the consequences that accompany them.
However, telling your boyfriend that you cheated on him does not necessarily guarantee that the relationship will end. If you are sincerely honest with him and he loves you enough to work through the problem, then the relationship could still be saved. In fact, it might even get stronger, bringing the two of you closer than ever. Your boyfriend’s trust in you will be damaged, but like everything, he too can heal over time.
