When he was a child, people took care of his elderly parents, even older family members like aunts and uncles. There was always a place for them to sleep and another chair could be pulled up to the dining room table. They were family, so you shared what you had with them. Of course, that was a simpler moment; moms were stay at home moms, dad brought home the bacon and everyone contributed the best they could.
During World War II and for a time after it ended, several adults in my family lived under the same roof. My grandparents and an aunt were there. Later she married and her new husband joined us for a couple of years until they could have a house of their own. My grandparents stayed and were still living with my parents when I left for college. This did not seem unusual to me, as I had other pre-booters friends with similar living arrangements.
In fact, I liked having these adults around. There was always a man in the house and each one of them taught me something different from the others. I don’t mean contradictory lessons; I’m talking about learning a variety of things. My dad did what dads do; he taught me the basics and tried to be as involved in my life as I allowed. My grandfather grew up on a farm; so he took me fishing, hunting, horseback riding and other outdoor activities. And my aunt’s husband was an engineer and he taught me to solve math problems and enjoy classical music. I was a lucky guy.
With families following individual paths and living in the city, across the state, or across the nation; it’s a little harder to keep people together or adjust to a move back home. Add to this the fact that two income families are the rule rather than the exception, and the multi-generational family doesn’t seem realistic.
Today, grandparents, who can no longer care for their homes, end up in nursing homes. It happened with my parents, but at least they got to move from the East Coast to Los Angeles when they decided to get rid of their house. What convinced them to come here was being able to see the grandchildren and great-grandchildren, all living in the Los Angeles area, with whom they had spent time in recent years. Although we were not under the same roof, we saw my parents regularly during the last years of their lives. It was wonderful
I know this made my parents’ lives happy and I think it extended their time on earth. The generations interacting together proved to be beneficial to all. As we pre-boomers get older, it’s important to spend more time with family. We need to make our children aware of this and find a way to make it happen. Not to be a burden to anyone, but to bring joy to all of us.
