I don’t watch Britain’s Got Talent on a regular basis, but whenever I’ve had the chance, I couldn’t help but notice that aside from Simon’s rolling eyes, one thing has been reoccurring; victims of bullying.
Many people have come forward and confessed to being bullied at some point, which, being so rampant in Western society, slightly programs the audience and the judges to be more understanding and consequently more understanding of them. . And why not? I myself was a victim at a very tender age of 5. I don’t remember much of school that year, just the agony and daily battle of deciding to get up, get dressed, and show up for another day of abuse and exploitation. I was silent for a long time, but my parents began to notice that every day I returned with lost items without an explanation. They did what had to be done. My bully dropped out of school at the end of that academic year. I don’t know what became of her. But I do remember his name and I always will.
Bullying has serious repercussions for the victim. It’s a drastic blow to self-esteem that leads to depression, anxiety, and countless other psychological and physical problems. The self-esteem of the victims is so broken that it is difficult for them to summon the courage to stop being victimized at every moment of life. After my stint as a bully, I had no friends at school for almost two years. I admit that I still have trouble making friends, maintaining lasting friendships without my immediate family, or even engaging in casual conversation. According to the CDC, bullying is the third leading cause of all suicides each year and has been on the rise in recent decades. Some victims resort to bullying others to vent their anger, boost their self-esteem, and feel respected again. Therefore, more victims and more bullies.
But while our hearts go out to the victims, we tend to totally ignore the psychology and background of the bully. Bullying is not a genetic or inherited trait, but a propensity developed due to one’s circumstances; family structure, culture, social and group pressure, etc. Although the truth is that stalkers come from all economic levels and sociocultural strata regardless of age, the contribution of the family institution is indisputable. Children who do not receive much-needed attention, respect as an individual, and acceptance at home, their first social school, seek it elsewhere through various means, hence the birth of a bully.
It may sound very idealistic, but the changing dynamics in the family structure (single parents, both workers or same-sex parents) have a much greater impact on children than we can imagine. Children derive their sense of security from their mothers and their identity from their fathers. A prolonged loss of contact or the complete absence of either can wreak havoc on children’s socio-psychological development.
Most educational institutions have clearly explained the ramifications such behavior can have, but it grows unhindered when victims confront bullies covertly in bedrooms, bathrooms, or virtual environments. If we want to curb this growing problem, we must start at home. We need to instill a sense of acceptance in children, teach them to be empathetic and not crave the control that the media so boldly promotes. More importantly, we must give them time and the opportunity to express themselves so that their negative feelings do not fester for a long time and then vent in the cruelest way possible.
