Brenda Cook’s new book The Entrepreneur’s Family: Seeking Balance, Recovery, and Growth is a groundbreaking look at how an entrepreneur’s passion and drive can have both positive and detrimental effects on a family. Cook reveals that while the media is full of praise for entrepreneurship and the belief that the entrepreneur can have it all, both wealth and free time, thus benefiting his family, that belief is often a myth or at least distorted. Entrepreneurs often spend little quality time with their spouse, children, and grandchildren; they may be more passionate about their business than family time; and they must make decisions about whether and to what extent to involve their family in the business. All of these factors lead to family dynamics that have far-reaching effects on the entrepreneur’s children and even on succeeding generations.
Cook, as the daughter of an entrepreneur, has witnessed these effects firsthand, skillfully and honestly sharing how her father’s entrepreneurial drive affected her family in different ways, from her mother, who had almost no say in the family businesses except when it was convenient to list properties in her name, to her older brothers who ended up assuming prominent roles as their father’s successors, and to Cook herself, who was marginalized and nearly displaced by her brothers once their father was no longer able to manage the business. , despite her intention that all three of her children have the same roles in business operations. Add to this that his father had international businesses, one in Canada and one in the United States—in short, one each for Cook’s siblings and none for Cook—and you have a veritable recipe for family dynamics reminiscent of the Ewing family of Dallas. famous.
While Cook may have, at times, come up short on her family, it also opened her eyes to how entrepreneurship influences family dynamics. Rather than be unhappy with her, she went into academia and research, which allowed her to explore best practices for employers to consider in relation to her family, especially her young children. In the book, she explores the decisions not only of entrepreneurs but also of their children, as young adults, to become involved in the continuation of the entrepreneur’s business. Her father’s sense of manifest destiny to further her business played an important role in her analysis of family dynamics.
Cook does not limit the discussion and examples to his own family. He went out and interviewed numerous businessmen and his descendants, most of whom were involved in the family business in some way. The case studies provide many examples of both positive and negative ways in which entrepreneurs seek to include their children in the family business or occasionally exclude them, often so that they have the opportunity to pursue their own individual interests.
A key part of the book is simply the awareness of how the entrepreneurial mindset affects family members. Cook admits that for most of her career, she did not see her skills and attitudes toward work in relation to raising her as the daughter of an entrepreneur. Although she chose not to remain involved in the operation of the family business but to work in other organizations, she discovered that the family imprint of entrepreneurship made her views and actions different from those of colleagues whose families were not entrepreneurial.
Communication skills are another important factor that Cook explores. Entrepreneurs are often motivated and focused. In short, Cook’s father did not care about public opinion and did not let it interfere with his business activities. He, too, was always engaged in some activity to the point where he would not stop to chat and be friendly, but would simply take off his hat, smile, and go where he needed to be or what he needed to do. On a more serious level, Cook learned to improve his own communication skills in order to transition from a business/commercial experience to working within an organization where he had to be part of a team. His brothers, who never worked outside the family business, on the other hand, did not have to develop these skills since they were sons of the owner and then owners, and consequently, always in positions of giving orders rather than receiving them or having to work as a team.
A key benefit of The Entrepreneur’s Family is how it will get entrepreneurs thinking about their roles as parents and how their entrepreneurial drive affects their children. Cook goes into detail about management tools for the entrepreneur to pass down to his children as they grow into and potentially into the business. She also discusses how children can identify and build their own identities separate from the business to honor their personalities and energy and find ways of self-expression outside of the family business.
Cook’s assessment of entrepreneurship and its effects on family members ultimately concludes that both advantages and disadvantages result from growing up in an entrepreneurial family. Those handicaps are also opportunities for personal growth, as Cook learned. His explorations here offer opportunities for others to learn how to do better. Either way, Cook is grateful for the experiences she had, stating that “many exciting and inspiring moments happen when you grow up with an entrepreneur. These moments shouldn’t be discounted because they are totally unique and important to developing your personality.”
Ultimately, Cook’s purpose is reflected in his subtitle. His book offers an opportunity for those who grew up or are growing up in a business home to seek recovery, if necessary, as well as balance and growth in both their personal and business lives.
The Entrepreneur’s Family is truly a tour-de-force among business books. It’s one of those books you may not have noticed is missing from your library, but once you read it, you’ll find yourself thinking, “Why didn’t anyone write this book years ago?” Fortunately, Brenda Cook has, and once you read it, you will find that it will change your life.
