Even before I made the decision to have children, I knew I wanted to raise them myself, even if it meant not having what others had. My decision was not based on ‘If I could afford to stay at home’ or ‘how could I afford to do it’, but ‘Do I want to be a housewife and what is best? for my children?’ I’ve found that with most things, the ‘hows’ always seem to have a way of working themselves out once a firm decision has been made.

Because this may not be so simple for some, I suggested to friends who were trying to make this decision that they first ask themselves the following important questions:

– Why do I want to be a housewife?
– Will I have the patience to be with my children on a daily basis?
– Will staying at home affect how I see myself?
– Will it be advantageous for my children?
– Do I feel that they will benefit from having a father at home?
– Am I socially capable of spending a whole day with children?
– Do I feel that being a housewife is an important step to being a father?
– Can I live without the extras in my life to raise my children myself?

instead of leaving their care to the daycare staff?
– Do I want to make parenting a journey to be reminded of the first step, the first word and

all the other ‘firsts’ that are often overlooked by working parents?
– Do I feel that having children is mainly having children or is it experiencing everything there is to be a

relative?
– Do I want parenting to be just a small part of my life or do I want it to be my life to fully enjoy and

savored?

In some cases, parents may decide that it is important for one parent to stay home with the children and that it does not have to be the mother. The decision may be based on who earns more money. Parents are increasingly becoming stay-at-home parents because women’s earnings often exceed men’s.

At other times, a parent’s decision to stay home may not be a particular desire, but rather a consideration of the cost of daycare for infants and toddlers who are still in diapers. Also, finding a good daycare is a difficult task. For many of the good day care centers there are long waiting lists.

While my children were preschoolers, I strongly believed that they should be raised by a parent rather than placed in a daycare setting. For me the decision was simple.