“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day that says, ‘I’ll try again tomorrow.’
~Mary Anne Radmacher

MY ESSENTIAL ACTION STEPS
As I struggled and struggled with my grievance and loss, I kept a journal. THE FOLLOWING EXCERPTS ARE FROM MY JOURNAL – 15 STEPS THAT HELPED ME UNDERSTAND AND CONQUER MY GRIEF. Writing in my journal helped me find new purpose and more peace and joy. They were personalized healing pep talks for me and they can be for you too:

1-MAKE A CONSCIOUS EFFORT TO SIXTEEN THE FLOWER PETALS OF RENEWAL AND RENAISSANCE

I understand that my renewal and rebirth begin and end with me. How can I start now? How I do it is a personal matter but it is vital to find happiness, new peace and joy. The more diligently you do it, with consistency and sincere effort, the greater the possibility of inspiration from yourself and from God. I am going to reflect deeply on all the steps I could take to renew hope and be reborn into a fuller life.

2-COUNT MY MOMENTS OF THANKS

I will be specific. Some blessings will be big and some will be small. As I count my blessings, I am amazed at how many things I feel gratitude for. I will count my blessings one by one.
Realizing what I am grateful for will give me strength in times of discouragement. Acting on my intentions to be grateful can bring rich blessings. I will practice gratitude every day to foster gratitude in my life. Today I will write at least five things in my journal that I am grateful for today and my wonderful life experiences.

3-THE PAIN NEVER ENDS

Grief is a passage of time, not a place to stay. However, you may never fully heal and completely forget your pain. The morning can go on. Reconciling your painful condition harmonizes the grief you experience. This leads to healing. Do your best to take advantage of every moment of each day to work through loss, pain, and grief.

4-PAIN IS THE PRICE OF LIVING THROUGH THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF LIFE.

“The journey between who you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place.”
~ Barbara De Angelis

When my grievance engulfed me, my life was forever altered. Grievance is not a lack of faith, nor is it a sign of weakness. What I do with my complaint is just my choice. Understanding my complaint and what I can do to heal helps me start my healing journey to a healthier and happier place in my life. I will continue to take steps to understand and reconcile my complex complaint. I’m going to start today.

5-OPPORTUNITY

Grieving, bereavement and mourning provide new opportunities to learn about oneself. You might reflect: As long as I allow myself to cry and give myself time to feel sorry for myself, my grievance continues. Reconciliation and acceptance make my complaint flare up less often. I will try to think of the opportunity I have as “the new me”. I will believe in my potential happiness. It is essential that I make the most of the challenges in my life. Even for those of us who have been disabled, it is possible to have more peace, joy, and a richer, fuller life. I will fill my life with happy moments.

6-REASSESS MY PERSPECTIVE

Try to think: I will assess what has changed and explore what is still possible for me after my life-changing event. I will begin by acknowledging that some of the changes that have occurred in my life as a result of my experiences are likely to be permanent. I will reflect on actions I can take in the coming week that will propel me toward greater happiness and peace. I will acknowledge the possibility that my new path will reveal itself as I progress.

7-FIND A COMPLAINTS PARTNER

Trying to work through my grief alone will hinder or slow my progress and may even cause me to become severely depressed due to loneliness and isolation. It is essential that I seek support from others and find ways to express my needs. Joan is my ever-present companion. Perhaps other relationships are essential to my well-being and happiness. Sometimes all I need to do is ask. But I should ask questions like, “I need you to spend time with me and here are my needs…” Sometimes I will cry with someone, sometimes it can be more healing than crying alone. Great comfort and peace, even hope, can come to those who know they have someone to turn to in times of need, need, and deep sadness.

8-I’M NOT ALONE

Because of my deep pain, it can be extremely difficult for me to believe that there can be hope, joy, and peace in my life right now. As I go through this time of grievance in my life, I will be aware that while my journey of grievance is unique, I will take comfort in the hope and wisdom of those who have walked the path of grievance before me. I will use as role models literally thousands of people who have reason to grieve and have overcome obstacles to give me hope. I am not alone. I will think of ways your actions have been examples to me. I will search the Internet for stories of how others have successfully overcome their difficult challenges. May these examples empower me.

9-TAKE ADVANTAGE OF EVERY POSITIVE MOMENT
I will embrace every positive moment and opportunity and by doing so, I will be better able to find healing, harmony, hope, peace and joy of life. Peace and joy go together. I will not allow the grievance to take away my faith in God, my love of life and, most importantly, my hope. I will not be lazy; I will be proactive every day in the pursuit of every hopeful and beneficial moment of every possibility of inner peace. Every day I will look for positive moments that I can embrace or include in my activities.
10-TURN INSIDE AND BE COMPASSIONATE

Right now, figuring out how to turn inward and be compassionate with myself is perhaps one of my most important needs. Accepting my feelings of loss is essential to my survival and future happiness. The complaint of my life-altering circumstance will never completely go away. Learning to reconcile my life after a time of loss requires self-care and ongoing loving attention to allow me to work through my grievance. Today I will consider ways to self-nourish the feeling in my heart.

11-RECONNECT WITH MY PASSIONS
Due to agony and pain, I find myself temporarily withdrawing from people, places, or things that I once enjoyed. I must consider all the people, places or things that have brought me the greatest joy and satisfaction in my life. How many of these people, places or things can still be a part of my life now? Make a plan. Schedule some time each day to engage in something, or with someone, that you have previously enjoyed. Give me the gift of something to look forward to every day. I will consider the ones that most resonate with me and support my healing. I will adopt the solutions that can support my healing. I will take action today and always.

13-ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE TO OVERCOME YOUR DUEL
Metaphorically, the grievance can be like a hail storm. It is an unusual and unexpected event. It can cause serious damage. Sadness and grief often start out small, but like hail, your grievance can suddenly grow from a raindrop to the size of a pea to the size of a golf ball, even a hard ball, traveling 90 miles. per hour. Like hail that causes an estimated $1 billion a year in damage to property and crops, my horrible complaint has damaged my life. I accept the challenge of overcoming the hail of grievances in my life. The hail melts away my pain and sorrow.

14-UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF MY PAIN
The severe grievance has caused me to experience deep pain. I am learning that to reconcile my grievance I must travel through my grievance. I can’t avoid the grievance, hoping it will go away. All the words spoken and all the words written cannot remove my grievance. One of the best ways to understand the wrong that has entered my life is to express externally what I feel inside. Grievance is a feeling from my heart. I can’t instantly get over it or turn it around. The forces of grievance require that I deal with my grievance. The harsh reality is that there has been a permanent change in my life. Now I must deal with a new me and different circumstances. To move on to a happier and fuller life, I must understand my grievance. Once I clearly understand my unique personal grievance, I can heal.

15-DEFINE MY INTENTIONS TO HEAL
Healing my wrong encompasses everything. It is a commitment to cause a desired consequence. In my case, it requires my focus, my full attention to my deep pain in such a way that it produces and introduces bits of happiness and hope back into my life. I must take action to make this happen again and again, day by day. I can’t solve my complaint in one fell swoop. Healing requires active actions. Passive hope is not a meaningful option. When I define my intentions, I really make an unconditional commitment to overcome my grievance.