As a psychiatrist who specializes in addiction treatment, I have witnessed people married to alcoholics get promises from their partner to stop drinking alcohol. People will scold, plead, and plead with their alcoholic husband or wife to stop drinking alcohol. Sometimes your partner will “give in” under the pressure and stop drinking alcohol for a day or two only to have an alcohol relapse. Then the vicious circle repeats itself.

Here is an example of a case from my practice:

SL is 55 years old and has been married for 22 years. Her husband started drinking early in their marriage. Ten years ago, after thousands of broken promises, SL threatened to leave her alcoholic husband. He was so shaken by this that he sought help and stayed clean and sober for 7 years. However, he returned to drinking and his alcohol consumption increased over time. SL and her husband fought over his drinking on a daily basis. He would get angry and defensive with her, but usually agreed to “reduce.” He broke promise after promise. She left him for a short while, but the problem continued. This case is a typical example. In fact, she went back to her marriage. NOTHING has changed for the better and her husband is still drinking.

Why would your alcoholic spouse break a promise to you? more important for you than anything else in your life? Here are 5 reasons your alcoholic spouse breaks their promise to stop drinking alcohol:

• Your alcoholic spouse is experiencing alcohol withdrawal symptoms because their brain has become dependent on alcohol.
• Your alcoholic spouse has strong cravings for alcohol, which produce a strong primary drive to drink more alcohol.
• He/she may have started drinking in the first place to avoid dealing with problems such as sexual trauma as a child, inability to cope with adult responsibilities, work pressures, etc.
• Your alcoholic spouse may be self-medicating with anxiety or depression.
• Your alcoholic spouse is not making the lifestyle changes that are necessary to maintain sobriety, such as being surrounded by sober friends at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, getting a sponsor for 12-step meetings, seeing a psychiatrist or therapist, and learn coping skills. to manage stress.

Alcoholism is a chronic progressive disease. Your spouse’s brain is dependent on a substance that makes you feel hostage to alcohol. You, on the other hand, feel like a victim of the disease as well because you are suffering the consequences of your substance dependence. You are part of an alcoholic family, which means that everyone who cares about the alcoholic is affected on a deep level. For this reason, alcoholism is known as a family disease.