Different pressure levels
The first mistake when thinking about slavery is that it is a kind of perverted relationship that is nothing like a normal marriage or courtship situation. It really couldn’t be further from the truth; the kinks and the sex may be a bit different, but the roles are similar. The same media, porn, and imagination that lead people into bondage relationships can also trick them into thinking that the rush of arousal, the sting of the whip, or the sexy role play can last forever. An important tool for keeping bondage relationships alive is accepting the ups and downs.
In a relationship without BDSM, in the first months there is a “high” of sensations, the long days in which you wait for your partner; and the thrill of having sex almost every night. But soon, the excitement wears off. You still care about the person and want them in your life, but the intensity of the passion may decrease. Some people may not imagine people in bondage relationships just sitting on the porch or taking a walk, but both appreciate a sense of normalcy.
Share with journals and notes
When you feel things starting to fade emotionally or physically, don’t panic. There are some tried and true methods you can use to fix things and not go completely off the rails. Many miscommunications occur in BDSM relationships because the submissive may have enjoyed rough play so much that he wants to take things further. But the dominator, who has different motives and derives different kinds of pleasure from dominating, just doesn’t know.
There is a fear that what the sub wants may shock the dominant or prevent further progress. There is a very simple way to help. It may not be 100 percent guaranteed, but it can save you from an unwanted breakup. In BDSM relationships, much of the appeal is imagination, being tied down; and the charm of not knowing exactly can follow.
A proven technique that may help you is keeping a journal or writing emails and letters. We recommend keeping a journal, because the handwritten aspect can actually be quite exciting. This journal could talk about things to explore, sexual acts or toys to expand, and secret desires. Because when a BDSM relationship begins, it’s really these secret desires that blossom. This is a great way to keep the chemistry at its peak between you.
Visit your own personal memory lane
Not everyone in BDSM relationships goes online. Maybe there was a first place, a library, a store you worked at that he came to see you for a month before you discovered your mutual kink. If you return to these places in the right frame of mind, you can revive more than you can imagine. There are crossovers in BDSM relationships where suddenly the submissive sees a softer side of the dominant, and the relationship improves, but the bondage play suffers, because the role of the doler of punishment is somewhat weakened.
There are cases where if the sub does not communicate well, the relationship could end abruptly. In fact, the submissive is enjoying the relationship more, but the sexual play seems a bit more timid, now that the role of the dominant is tender. There are all sorts of things that can happen to end a BDSM relationship early, but hopefully these little ideas can help some troubled slaves and mistresses get back on their feet.
