You’ve thought about it a lot and decided that you and your ex have something special worth fighting for. You never wanted a breakup in the first place, but now that it’s happened, you want to do everything you can to save it. But you’re left with an urgent question: “Should I text my ex?”
If you’ve read a lot of relationship advice online, you may have developed a negative view of texting when it comes to breakups and trying to get your ex back. Most experts tell you not to. They fear that you will say the wrong thing or do it the wrong way and end up scaring your ex forever.
They might be right, but avoiding texting altogether when communicating with your ex greatly limits your ability to get them back. After all, texting through an iPhone or other smartphone is one of the most powerful forms of communication we have. You and your ex probably texted throughout the day when you were together.
While texting your ex isn’t always a good idea, simply dismissing it as useless would be a bad decision. When done the right way, texting can increase passion and romance, heal old hurts, create desire and intimacy, turn your ex’s negative emotions into something positive, and open your ex to the idea of getting back together. be with you. And they can do it all without being aggressive or intrusive.
So should you text your ex? Yes, if you adhere to a few key principles that I am about to share with you. If you follow the principles below, you will have a much better chance of having a positive texting experience with your ex.
Should I text my ex? 5 key principles
1.) Text your ex only after you’ve been out of touch for at least a month. This is commonly known as the “no contact rule” and it gives you the opportunity to decide what you really want. It also allows all the “stuff” from your past relationship to fade so you’re not dealing with uncontrolled emotions from yourself or your ex.
2.) Text your ex only if they are still showing emotion towards you. It can be a positive or negative emotion, but there must be an emotion. A listless ex (showing no good or bad emotions) will be extremely difficult to recover and it is best to move on when that is the case.
3.) Text your ex only if you can accept that they may not get a response. Not getting a reply (especially to your first few text messages) is normal and nothing to worry about.
In fact, your first few text messages should be formatted so that you don’t put pressure on your ex to reply. Just because your ex doesn’t reply doesn’t mean your messages are having no effect.
4.) Never text your ex more than twice in a row without getting a response. Sending multiple text messages, such as “Did you get my message?”, “Why aren’t you replying?”, “I texted you 3 and haven’t heard from you yet” is a big no-no. So do not do it.
5.) Text your ex only if you are willing to be the first to end the conversation. Who says the last word is the person who has the power in the relationship.
You can respond in different ways depending on whether you receive a positive, negative, or neutral response from your ex, but you should always be the first to end the conversation with something like “Okay, I have to run. Talk later. Never get into long, big discussions with your ex over text messages when you are trying to get them back (even if the conversation is going great).
