BBD: A Novel Way To Track Fitness Or A New Boy Band?

Poppin’ Fresh, that giggly Pillsbury Doughboy used to be thought of as an overweight, happy little pet with skin so white he couldn’t leave the kitchen without sunscreen. Who could have imagined that 30 years after his famous tummy tuck, Poppin’ Fresh would inspire the biggest health craze since the Thighmaster? Who knows, if this really takes off, it may be even bigger than investment boots.

Introduction to the BBD test. I invented it myself. Recently, while working out with the p90x extreme fitness program at home, I would periodically stick a pencil into my belly button and then record the depth. As I watched my belly button depth reduce from 23mm to 17mm over the course of several weeks, the BBD test was born. Before doing your BBD test at home, remove all fuzz, lint, half-eaten Twinkies, and any other foreign objects from your belly button, as these can cause falsely shallow BBD readings and are generally just gross. Known side effects include the fact that it tickles and can cause the urge to laugh. Important Safety Tip: Always use the erase end. (You would be surprised). BBD may be more accurate for guys as we tend to carry more of our flubber in the spare and less in the boo-tay. However, it is worth a try for anyone!

Keep an eye out for my article on “The Relationship Between Body Mass Index and BBD: A Longitudinal Cross-Sectional Regression Meta-analysis” coming soon to a respected medical journal near you.

(Sorry, but if you’re an outie, you’re out of luck.)