At the young age of 18 I learned how to get my ex boyfriend back without even trying. The steps I followed worked perfectly even though I had no idea why! But today I am a happily married mom with a lot of dating experience to remember (twenty years, in fact!). And the reasons have become very clear. So I’m going to share with you what I learned…

Step 1: Give him time I miss you

If you just broke up with your boyfriend, and especially if the breakup was unexpected, you’re probably in a lot of pain. And you probably want to talk to him and try to change his mind.

As difficult as it may seem, talking to your ex is the last thing you should do right now. Talking, texting, emailing, and stalking him on Facebook are things you can’t do. In step 1 you’re going to do what I did with “Dougie”: send him a short handwritten note saying you think he’s right and that you’re okay with the breakup.

A handwritten note, sent by post, attracts attention. Email may be overlooked, a text message ignored, but handwritten notes are so rare that people can’t resist opening them.

After you send your note, it’s time to ignore your ex! Ignoring your ex for at least 30 days will make him wonder what happened to you and give him a chance to miss you.

Important: If I wanted to get my ex boyfriend back today, it would be much more difficult than when I was 18. Why? Because back then, there were no cell phones. There was no internet or email. There is no such thing as Facebook. It will be a very good idea to stay away from Facebook altogether during this “no contact” period!

Step 2: Living well is the best revenge

While you let your ex cool off, make sure you take extra care to look your best, eat healthy, and stay in shape. You want to look super sexy the next time he sees you, not like a train wreck that can’t live without it. Pity isn’t going to make him want you back, but looking like the breakup has turned you into a new woman will drive him crazy!

One of the reasons I was able to get my ex boyfriend back painlessly is because I kept myself so busy and distracted myself by making new friends and finding fun things to do. You couldn’t be home alone eating gallons of ice cream.

To achieve this, you will have to play a little mind game with yourself: you must believe that you CAN get him back and that the breakup is not final. Remember that you are only giving him his space so that he can begin to miss you and remember the good times you had together. This will keep you feeling positive.

Step 3: throw some crumbs

Once you’ve given your ex some space and made sure to have as much fun as possible without him, you can start giving him a few minutes of your time here and there. Call him to tell him that you’re pretty busy but just wanted to see how he’s doing. Don’t spend more than 15 minutes talking.

Keep it light and don’t mention wanting to get back together. Start sharing something really exciting you’re planning (it could be a fitness goal, a trip, a new hobby), then stop when it gets interesting and look at the time. Say you have to go but it was nice to chat and hang up!

Every time you go online, drop hints that you might have someone new you’re seeing, but then change the subject and say you don’t want to talk about it. If your ex calls, texts, or emails, don’t contact them right away. Wait at least two days, three is even better.

Every time you run into your ex, be very happy to see him, chat for a few minutes, and then rush off to your next fling or some important matter that requires your immediate attention.

Before you know it, your ex will want to spend more time with you and may even start pursuing you!

Why does this method work?

This method worked great to get my ex boyfriend back thirty years ago, and it still works great today. In fact, in the many relationships I had between him and my marriage, I realized something. Every time an ex cam sniffed around again it was because he had followed these steps. Every time he didn’t it was because I couldn’t let him go, I followed him around like a lost puppy and made a bunch of other stupid mistakes that only pushed him further away.

The more your ex realizes that you don’t need him, the more fun you’ll have without him, and the more attractive you look, the more you’ll trigger his attraction to you. Once he sees that you’re not trying to get back together and you hardly seem to have time for him, his manly instincts will surely kick in. Men are programmed to be hunters and now you have given him a reason to chase.

So put this plan into action. I can assure you that it will get your ex’s attention and get them moving in the right direction.